For a long time I didn’t remember my dreams. I would listen and quietly envy friends describe vivid and exciting tales from their sleep. Dreams and their influence are prevalent in our culture and I was jealous of that.

These last few years I’ve slowly started to dream more and more, and with great lucidness. I thought that recurring dreams were something made up to tell great stories, but I have been having one for the last few months, and it is beginning to blur the lines between dream and fantasy.

I despair to use the word fantasy, because in my mind I equate it to desire and something almost grotesquely lustful. That aside, this dream of mine has been becoming more and more vivid in my sleep state, and I cannot tell if I should be enjoying it.

It is a very simple dream, one that always starts the same but builds on itself as I create more and more elaborate scenarios.

In this dream I leave everything behind. I wake up one morning and pack a bag and I take my passport and I leave the country. I do not tell anyone, I don’t leave a note, I just leave. In the dream, I’m not even sure where I end up, but I am completely anew in myself and can release all the stresses of my “past” life. Everything that I feel stuck in is washed away with my new lease on life. Anonymous and alone, I am free to begin again.

There are many obvious explanations for this dream and I recognize them, but I still don’t know what to do. The very idea of stealing away without anyone’s knowledge fascinates me, but in all practicality, it probably won’t happen. I’m saying probably because if the day comes that I can actually pull this off, I just might.